Don’t Say Whocares When You Really Cares

Today, it was an eventful day. 

I went to a meeting at Singapore Flyer

Missed Jocelyn’s birthday celebration at office

Went back to office to present the present to her

Cleared a few more emails and important assignments

Went to DXO, attended the members’ night

Went to KTV with Lauren & Catherine (gf), Jessica and new friend Glenn

Went home quite late, around 3am

So its very very strange when I managed to use the chinese software for my msn..  very strange

..31052007..

I can finally let go of francis now.  He is attached already.  The news comes as a shock to me when hp called me and told me about it.  He is holding the hands of another girl at orchard road.

I could not have known about it, if hp has not called me.  I really really am albeit upset to hear about it.  He could have been honest to me that he already have someone in mind, instead of hiding from me. 

Tonight, I went to the chalet with a very heavy heart.  Its plainly clear that he chose not to attend gatherings whenever I’m around.  Why did I only realise it now?  I’m not very intelligent either.

Anyways, I must encourage myself:  Jia You, huiling, you can do it… 

Its like 3 mths.. after the incident.  I will be more cautious in future.  So glad that I finally have a reason to move on.

..20052007..

My mum is angry when I criticised her photo on hp.  I said it was very "er xin".  Coz she took a photo of herself acting cute, as if "Fann Wong" act cute.  She super angry when i said her foto er xin. 

Why my mum like tat one.  After that, i still insist to say her photo er xin and she later angry and i decided not to talk to her and ended with a bye and closed my door.

Must be "Leng Jing", dun be so angry over such small matter..  What for right?

Haha..

..17052007..

I’m happy for Tina, coz she finally got a job offer.  She can finally throw the dart at Mr u-know-who.

Once she has decided to leave, I will be more alert.  No more the good old days, as our kakis seems to diminished gradually.

Things often changed and most probably its for the best of all interests.  I still chat and joke wif francis today, can still chat like friends.  However, a part of me have died.  I seem to be less sentimental towards him.  A part of me held back, naturally.  I’m more outright and direct in my conversation with him.  I told him that I dun like English performances (The Phantam).  I also do not pay attention to him when he talks to me today.  At least, I appeared quite "bochap", no longer so agreeable anymore?!?!  I don’t feel sad anymore, at least today i don’t.  We are truly friends.

I will treasure all the beautiful memories.  This is a very very sweet part that will be kept for years to think of.  Congrats, I think you can finally move on now.

..06052007..

The answer to this question is yes.  The following criteria applies:

1) When you & your friend have totally no chemistry for each other. 

2) You can then share all the things with this friend without seeing him as a potential partner in life.

So far, I only have one very close guy friend, which i can regard as having fullfilled the above criteria.  He is my uni sch mate and we became close friends after much care and help for one another (there is also another gf in our grp).

I do have other platronic guy friends, whom perhaps in the past, I have interest in, but later faded off to no where.

On the other hand, i cannot believe on still maintaining a platronic friendship after a break up with ex-bf.  As one would need space and fresh air to forget about the past, it is rather hard to still stay together as friends. 

Recently, my friendship with a guy friend drifted away due to my "demand in clarity".  Initially, I couldn’t understand how come he seems to distance away from me through his ungentlemenly manner as compared in the past.  The reason is, he finds that he could still maintain this friendship if he could just keep me at arm’s length.  Put simply, this is the only way he can do as he treasures our friendship.

..05052007..

This was the 3rd KTV session with the Kj gang.  The first one was wif francis, second one without (no wc too), third one also without (got wc).

What a last minute one.. while i was shopping wif rabita, at plaza singapura after work.  I just ok quickly since i was in the mood to sing.  We sang alot of old songs.. like a memorable ktv session to reminise all the old songs.  During the ktv session, i came to realise where the lyrics "i can watch the stars with you" comes from.  It was a sad love song in fact.  Not something which represents hope and new ventures.  What a way i have earlier interpreted. 

My hunch that francis is coming to watch Spiderman3 is indeed accurate.  I can’t be more intutative as i am ever before.  wc confirmed my realisation during the ktv session.  Anyway, nevermind, I won’t be sitting next to him.

When things happened, things just will happen.  When you don’t think you will know, you will just happen to know.  Eg:  You know when you know he is the one or not. 

Things, when you are not supposed to know, you are not supposed to know.  I really think so now.  Just trust your gut feel now. 

Interesting things!  WL was a more joyous and lively girl during the ktv session.  Terrence sang effortlessly and was enjoying himself all these while.  WC performed not really up to standard but a few of his songs still quite good.  KJ not very good today too as he sang alot of female songs.  However, the "Dang Ai Cha Jian Er Guo" duet which we sang was pretty hilarious.  Wc drove us home, one by one there-after, which I managed to bath and log on to pc by 2.30am, which was quite early.  I really enjoyed today’s ktv too… maybe without francis, i will be more carefree and less stressful?

Nevermind if he still doesn’t treat me as a friend, which i sincerely believe he doesn’t realise it too.. eg: the effect it has on me.  So, i won’t blame him or ponder over it.  I will still treat him as my friend.

I will take up my refresher course this weekend or next.  Can be a studious learner again, cautious driver and responsible road user.

..05052007..

Its been 3 months after the unexpected episode.  I went for his birthday dinner.  I felt very unhappy when his friend teased me and him.  Till now, I still cannot get over the fact that he does not treat me as a friend anymore.  I’m not even a normal girl that deserves a gentlemenly treatment from him.  It dawned to me that I was one of the one he has always wanted to avoided during the group outings.  When I thought I have got over it, it just upsets me to know that he seems not over yet and wants to contempt me.  What would happen if your good friend suddenly treats you in such a manner?  Would you not be sad?  How can I?  Is this a test god has chosen to put me to?  Maybe it is.  Things happened for a reason.  Thank god that we have not even started.

..01052007..