Don’t Say Whocares When You Really Cares

Today is Monday, first blue day of the week.  I went to Raffles City after work, taking the shuttle bus and still feel abit sad.  Got cry abit coz it is one of the regular places we used to hang out together.  Sunday night, I watched movie "Dun mess with Zohan" with Kj and wl.  The slow background music in cinema makes me wan to cry too..  coz i am reminded of watching movies together with him again.  The movie is a comedy, yet i’m crying inside   Sign..

My mum said something which makes me happy.  She says if a guy leaves me bcoz he cannot accept my character, that means he is not really good for me.  And when i told her i won’t give her any household allowance if I have no job, she says "bobian" also.  Wa… I felt so happy.  That is wat you call family support.

Wl told me something worth for thought.  If you chose to hate someone to forget him, you will definitely take extra effort to remember what he did to you in the past and more vividly remembers it.  And the best way to forget someone is to reflect (and forgive).  So that in future you can improve for the next better player.

Recalling back on Sat, I rapidly changed my status at friendster and facebook to single and updates all the columns.  Seems like alot of friends sensed my anger.  I was truly very angry tat day. 

Now my anger is 70% gone.  still got 30% left.  Sadness is on and off la.

I am writing a list of reflections, hoping to complete it the next two weeks.  After tat, it will be filed away for future reference.

..23062008..

18 June marks the end of our relationship.  We broke up on the bus, while he is making his way back home.  The reasons he gave are very lame:  He is too busy with his life and hence too tired to handle our relationship.  That was why he chose to give up our r/s.  The fact is, he doesn’t not like me enuff to carry on, to perserve.  I called up huiping and told her about it on Wed nite (the same nite).  After that, i still harbour the tots of having some hopes with him.  But when i called Liew Ern on Thursday nite, i realised that we are finally over.  I smsed him on Sat morning and asked him if he told his mum already about our breakup.  He said he already done so, who seems like putting a dagger on my heart.  What a way to say it, in a nicer way, let us not see each other for some time.  I tot it was cooling down period, but it was not.  I have to accept the hard truth, sooner or later. 

I felt very stupid, why did i fall for such a heartless and selfish person?  What did i see in him in the first place.  I really felt so cheated..  If given a choice, i would not have started at all, if this is wat will happen.  I felt like being betrayed.  Although, there wasn’t any third party involved. 

I did a tarot reading for us prior to our BKK trip.  It says we will break up.  It really comes true.  Now, I am really very very upset with him.  I had wanted to end this r’s but was not able to speak up as I like him too much to voice it out.  How i wished i could be smarter, not be so deluded in my fantasy!! 

I visited Liew Ern on Sat.  Have dinner with her too.  Was still very very down.  This is the only time i can be so down.. i tell myself that i would definitely brace up once things are more settled and calm.  I felt so sleepy.. that was why i am so troubled and unable to concentrate on my stuffs.

I must have owe him alot of money or done him wrong in the past life, that was why I have to pay back this lifetime. 

Nonetheless, I can finally not suffer under his cluthes le…  This was afterall, a final relief.

..21062008..

I cocked up again on Friday, communicated the wrong info to my merchant.  As a result, caused very unpleasant climate.  Did not go comb raffles place at all.  Was quite distracted.  Since I am so distracted, why am I not working hard to look for a better job?  This is not equal to running away from troubles.  It is just a form of exit strategy.  I seem quite prepared to leave without a job, join shake-leg club again.  Hmm… if I were to do that, I would like to travel again   Go somewhere island island, relax abit??

Jiecong told me not to contact him for the next one week, think we are going to spend time apart for the next few months.  Maybe, meet each other like once a week?  I am a bit reluctant to get back my free time now but it is very strange.  I wanted to see more of him, but since he is busy, I will not bother him too much.

I will look hard for a next better job!  Jia You, Huiling!

..08062008..

I called Jeffrey up today.  He sounds ok when I told him i got impt thing to tell him.  Told him about the discounted rate.  He sounds fine about it.  When questioned on details, things cock up.  I messed up the conversation again.. oh no…   Tell quarter truth, not whole truth.  Do not throw all the money you have on the table.  It is very very disadvantageous to reveal all your chips.

Visit NSB with Vincent.  Started with casual talk, mainly to find out more about the business.  Ms lim started with the rate too high, later, V pointed out that the difference should not be taken into consideration at all.  She sort of agreed, later on    According to her, this is a family business and mr lim, the boss is actually our loyal card holder.  He discontinued due to unsatisfactory customer service when there was improper handover.  Amidst the conversation, V took a while before proceeding into the VGP proposal.  There seems to be a very very friendly atmosphere, as ms lim is also a very friendly person to start wif.

There is alot of objections, which has been refuted.  Bravo! V.  What can I learn from this meeting?  Listen to the customer, find out what their real concerns truly are.  It is not going to be easy, but rest assured, the results are tremenduous! 

Alot of perceptions are being overturned today.  The merchant is not as exactly unreasonable.  Hope the light is with us.

Another lesson learnt, be sincere to your merchants and be willing to try your best to help them.  They will know you have done your best, even if things don’t work out. 

..05062008..

I buang the side door of driver’s seat today.  How it happened?  I try to park by the front… There is another car next to me.  Pillar and door kissed.  Wat a long, messy kiss. 

..04062008..

I bought the book, How to Win Friends And Influence People, from Dale Carnegie.  It teaches me alot of things.  When you are dealing with people, there are alot of points to bear in mind. 

- Do not undo people as you would have them undo to you.
- Be generous with smiles, they are the best ice breaker to make people warm up to you
- Attack people’s interest, make them talk about themselves.
- Don’t criticise, condemn or complain about people
- Be sincere about your feedback, and they will appreciate it.  Do not be selfish about compliments.

I am currently learning how to park a car.  Seems very frightening at first, but got used to the mechanics of the car after practising for like 2 hours.  Parking is not that scary after all.

So, my task now is to learn how to drive alone and continue to better my parking skills.

..01062008..