Don't Say Whocares When You Really Cares

Finally Its about work

gingershandy — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:42:39 +0000

I have been working again for past two weeks without really resting. My interns are coming, they are from Temasek Polytechnic. It is not a easy task to communicate things to bell and jas without making things so stressful. I find it quite amusing, when i asked bell if she can come to work at 9am or not.. she laughed and i also laughed It is so funny!! I din really mean it. It just like tat lor…

Today is a long day as there is a meeting which lasts till 10am. I am so tired, really tired.

But then, I still look good despite being so tired. Maybe my good complexion is coming back. Although got abit of pimples on my left cheeks. Or have I become so pale under pale lights? Strange. It is the effect of masks from Taiwan?!? Or I’m so pale due to work stress.

..08092008..

My question to Liew Ern

gingershandy — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 14:56:00 +0000

Hi Gal,

Can you tell me why is tat i dun feel relief at all? The word to describe is not relief. But i feel good, i know it’s the type of feeling you would considered "relief".

..01092008..

Dinner With The gals

gingershandy — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:31:27 +0000

Today is quite a fruitful day for me, as I do really catch up with annie and liew ern (both together) after 2 mths of hibernation. Liew ern says annie is quite tone down already, as she does not really give alot of advice. On second tots, I think it is just normal, she is probably calm. However, she advises me to get out of vicious cycle asap, and to find someone who does not make you cry. (Quite valuable advice, i would say)

For Liew Ern, she has the same thinking as me, so whatever she thinks, she thinks in my best interests and it is for me to execute. I am so glad to have friends like them. They are both angels fallen from the cosmo to guide me, this blind sheep.

A day to remember, its when I have stepped out of my black hole. I’m relieved (finally).

..26082008..

Rainy Season in Aug??

gingershandy — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 10:55:29 +0000

The weather over the weekends have been very strange, as it can rain for the entire Saturday and Sunday. It makes my heart feels quite cold too. I don’t feel like going anywhere, just want to sleep like a pig. When will this season end?

..24082008..

Protected: JC & HL’

gingershandy — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 13:16:26 +0000

At Work

gingershandy — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:59:35 +0000

My Boss gave me some feedback today. He says, if you are medicore, you can survive in any wealthy, good organisations. If you need to survive in very small and poor organisations, you must be very extraordinary & think out of the box. It is indirectly saying that perhaps I am not very good. He also pointed out that I should not learn to be like my staff. Have to be more "law-biding" and disciplined. I really very very "TL" inside. So hor, I will play by the ear. Boss’s feedback must take in and digest, cannot take it too hard. I will be punctual, so long as its not later than 8.50am. So this is my max. I should wake up at 7pm, latest and leave by 7.30am. Another thing about the MSN. I did a print screen for my boss in an email yesterday and it captured my msn icon. Damned! I was so careless!! What a day for me… Went to Suntec convention hall around 3.30pm, set up the stall and it was so tiring. Went to Gelare with the girls. Quite relax.. but i was still quite bothered. I just thought if I would pass the 3 month probation. Should have more confidence in myself actually. Be extra alert in fact. =) I should not give him any chance to say that I am not aligned at all.

..19082008..

Jenny’s Birthday

gingershandy — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:53:52 +0000

I went to meet JY and Jenny for dinner at Vivo. Was quite punctual and bought a piece of cake for cutting. Its’ meant to be a suprise, but I don’t think it would make Jenny so happy. I listen to their conversation and they were both still as lively as ever. Jenny says I looked more trendy and better. It could be due to my job change, I give it full credits. One year have passed. I remember last year, i was celebrating Jenny’s birthday and had drinking at Suntec. The next day, I was with him already. Time just flies. Now its freedom for me. I recalled that in my previous blog postings, i aspire to be happy. So, happy it should be. I still feel quite bothered. Got a feeling that i should cut off totally from the w/k/w/f gang. Which means, no more roller blading for me, no more ktv sessions with them. Still, I can go out with other friends. So, I really have to find excuses to miss their gatherings, so as not to make it so obvious.
I got a thought for wendy. Thinks she is still unable let go of Mr K, so all the more, she shouldn’t ask so many ppl to go watch Fireworks. On account of her so moody, I can only oblige to accompany her. Although I would love to go home and rest early. I hope she makes the right decision.

..18082008..

Over the Past One year

gingershandy — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 15:32:22 +0000

I went through my previous entries, dated all the way in feb 07. Was quite surprised to know that I actually had a heartbreak sometime more than a year ago and that time, supposedly has recovered and moved on. This year, some time later after one year, I suffered another heartbreak, which was more serious, as the efforts were seem to be permanent. The only difference is that, I could not talk to people about it, while the previous one, I could and I got over it very fast. My anniversary with him will be on 20.08.2008. Time just flies. He confirmed won’t be with me already to celebrate. It is really so much like a dream. Seems like yesterday that we met. When you are in "deep shit", time just flies like a blink of eye.When I read the blog entries few mins ago, history of images, happenings seem to flash back in my mind. It seems like yesterday when I attended their gatherings. Seems like reallyyesterday, which is so distant. I remember writing in my blog, I don’t believe in platronic friendship, I won’t be friend with my ex-bf, which is true. I see that this two cases are really linked. They are meant to make me grow up much faster. All within the span of two years. So, first thing I should be doing is to stay away from some stuffs. When I do see them again, I would want to feel good and wish them well. It is not difficult thing to do? When I’m in it, i seem to be very immersed. When I am out of it, I can see clearly. I would want to stand out of my position and see clearly things that really happened. So, even it if means being out of scene for a some time. I want to be sick, on mc, but I am not at all. I have grown immune to sickness. Feel good to know that my bp is low, at 70. Coz this is a reflection of myself being calmer and discerning. I felt like world would practically stop if I can hold my breath. Live at the moment, not easy to practise. Do not think of the beautiful memories and bad memories. When you have unknowingly created them, some are good to keep, some are best forgotten. Some before we start creating these memories, there is a button for us to press, stop or continue. So, I would chose to be forgetful about what has alraedy happened and continue to live bravely. When things are not meant to be, one should not press pause, but stop it at that instant. Old phrase you may have heard: It take a minute to know someone, takes a day to fall in love, a few years to understand someone, and a lifetime to forget someone. I would just want to pause at the very first day. I would not want to fall in love again until i am no longer so tired. I want to be a sleeping princess, though I cannot sleep for a hundred years. Recently over the wkend, I seem to be suffering from a disease, which makes me so sleepy and dun wan to wake up. I struggled to wake up in my dream but was so weak. Maybe I don’t want to face reality. Sometimes, I feel I would like to just vanish into thin air. I must learn to like my job, like my life and myself. Starting from this very minute. However, my will is not strong. I know it. The more I want to hide, the more I cannot hide. Perhaps, if possible, I may just take a few days off from work end Dec.. Who says new joiners cannot take leave?

..17082008..

The Gift of Life

gingershandy — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 16:41:54 +0000

This is the title of a song my friend emailed me: 100 years, by Five for Fighting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmoE8_U-JTw

When you are the age you are, you tend to forget to live as it is. Reason being, you sometimes look behind and not see the moment with you. Good to plan for the future, but don’t forget the moment now.

Lyrics:

I’m 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I’m 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I’m 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I’m a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I’m 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I’m all right with you
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on…

I’m 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there’s still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day’s a new day…
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Going 30, there is still time for you Live in the life, you were given. That is the power of NOW.

..17082008..

4th day at The School

gingershandy — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:08:48 +0000

Nothing new. Been looking for documents almost the whole day. Think I only managed to completed 3 tasks today. 1. Sent an email to inform about event; 2. Learnt more about the website 3. Realised that I was not able to define what is my school about! It is so embarrassing to meet external parties. I really really don’t want to lose face again. I sent an email to my boss asking him if he has any intention to seek new direction for The School. He said can discuss. But after sending an email to organise a meeting for the executive committee, one of the committee member actually stated the criteria to look at in terms of new direction for 2009. I can’t help but be amused. Now we are at the mercy of a voluntary group. Meetings have to be held at night, which starts from 6.30pm till 9pm. I will definitely be very tired the next day.. But its ok la. I seldom go out at night nowadays. The most take leave the next day to relax lo. Have to complete two documents tomorrow. So first thing in the morning, I got to locate a letter.. 番舊帳! Should be my expertise to uncover old stuffs. Hope can have some results tomorrow. 一定要把癮戒掉, 不然就太對起我媽媽了.

..14082008..